It was the second time we met up, and I was looking forward to this particular meeting. He was clearly successful, motivated, and carried a slight resemblance to Lance Armstrong (which he pointed out to me on our first meeting.) I could kind of see it. If I squinted.
During our first hour together, he reached for his phone to show me a picture of his kids. I noticed that he took the time to close out of all the tabs first, but before he did, I caught a glimpse of a dating site. “That’s normal,” I thought. We have to assume that the people we meet on dating sites are actively cruising. It’s par for the course.
The second hour was spent in lively conversation at a cool restaurant. We had a drink and some appetizers, and I was giddy with a margarita-induced buzz when the bill arrived. When he asked to split the $30 tab, I was a little taken aback. Seeing as I knew him to be successful, this was the first sign that maybe he wasn’t into me. Typically, when a guy wants to impress a woman, he can afford a $30 ticket. I left my card, and went to the bathroom before heading out.
At my car we lingered over that moment when all parties are wondering if the awkward kiss is about to happen. Nervously, I commented that it still felt like it was 90 degrees out at 10 p.m., and so I filled the silence by asking him to check the temperature on his phone.
My date pulled out the device and held it up to both of our faces and BAM! Up pops a picture of a lovely blonde, smiling ear to ear, enticing us from the cyber world of Tinder.
“What the…? You were scrolling through Tinder profiles while I was in the bathroom?” I demanded. “You couldn’t wait until the date was over?”
“No, no, no! That was from earlier in the day,” he lied.
Taking him to task, I insisted: “I saw you close out all your tabs at the restaurant.” His face dropped, and he proceeded to try and distract me by commenting on the moon. I went cold. He sputtered and spewed some nonsense, and I felt myself drifting into the eternal pool of frustration, otherwise known as ‘internet dating.’
“Look,” I said, “I know we are all doing this bizarre internet dating dance, but really — must you swipe while I wipe?! Maybe next time you can wait until after your date leaves before finding your next one.”
In the land of instant gratification, massive phone distraction, and A.D.D., it sometimes feels impossible to hold the attention of any individual. Or, maybe he just was not ‘that into me.’ Either way, if a man can’t focus on you on the second date, the only time you should spend on him is the amount it takes to say “Buh bye.”